Asshole of the Week – Attorney General Michael Mukasey

After announcing his decision not to refer ‘Contempt of Congress’ citations against Josh Bolton and Harriet Miers to a grand jury, Kvatch Kopf reached the Attorney General at CRAP, the annual Conference and Retreat for Administration Peons.

Kvatch: Mr. Attorney General, the Supreme Court has on a number of occasions, upheld ‘Contempt of Congress’ as a necessary tool that supports the legislative in its oversight role. So on what basis did you decide that the DoJ is free to refuse to prosecute the citation?

Mukasey: Well Kvatch, as you know the Bush Administration operates under the theory of the ‘Unitary Executive’. Consequently we’re not required to comply with the nonsensical demands of Congress.

Kvatch: But Mr. Attorney General, the Constitution does not recognize the ‘Unitary Executive’. So what you’re doing would essentially be…unconstitutional.

Mukasey: Yes…well…I think there was a signing statement on this. I’ll have to check, but I’m sure that President Bush, in this time of war, gets to do whatever he damn well pleases. And, after all, the Constitution is just a ‘…damn piece of paper’.

Kvatch: But you know that this makes you look like just another slimy administration tool, not to mention a bit of an asshole.

Mukasey: Of course I do, Kvatch. But everything is relative, right? Look at the two AGs whom I followed into this position.

Kvatch: Well you do have a point there.

11 thoughts on “Asshole of the Week – Attorney General Michael Mukasey”

  1. Unitary Executive sounds like the dickmiester calls the shots and the executive do what he tells ’em. Since when was a dictatorship unconstitutional? Isn’t that the standard for of government?

  2. Personally I thought Matt Drudge the biggest asshole of the week for outing Prince Harry. Though I have to say this Bush Administration rubber stamp you’ve chosen runs a close second.

  3. When are Americans going to accept that they now have an Emperor sitting in the White House?

    Emperors don’t need no Constitutions, Honey Chile! They is next to Gods.

    P.S. When is George, sorry Emperor George, going to wear a toga? Perhaps he’ll elect a horse to the Senate as well? Of course, the horse will be much brighter than him!

  4. I am still outraged at my senator’s (Schumer) defense of this man. It was an outrage and now we are stuck with this evil.

    What a disgrace.

    I think you handled him well though Kvatch!

  5. Cartledge… I guess you’d call dictatorship sort of “extra-constitutional”. Gives it an air of legitimacy, don’t you think?

    WINS… Ben Stein would be great!

    Frogette… Well Drudge certainly is an asshole, but then…Drudge is always an asshole. Nothing new under the sun there.

  6. DavidG… Toga? Naw…too retro. The Decider needs a spiffy military uniform, with sashes and medals. White of course, Pinochet-like.

    Fran… Each time I tell myself that the next AG could not possibly be as bad as the last AG…

  7. It’s a good thing Pelosi decided to take impeachment off the table. Now they will never be able to hold anyone in this corrupt administration accountable.

  8. Fran… Mukasey hasn’t proven that he’s as bad as Gonzo…not yet, but time will tell.

    Lew… Do you think that the Bush Administration gave Pelosi retroactive immunity?

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