New York (f-A-ke. P.) –
Vowing never to, “…let those damned Papists get the upper hand on the environment,” leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention announced today that they had been ‘too timid’ on environmental issues and that Baptists have a biblical duty to stop global warming.
Well, I was passing under the fluorescent lights at our headquarters and the voice of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, told me that the Earth was getting a little on the hot side—even without the benefit of hell-fire and brimstone. It was then that I realized that we Baptists have a duty to save the planet.
The Reverend Horace Buefort
When asked why the Lord didn’t appear as a burning bush, Pastor Buefort responded, “Are you kidding?! A burning bush would put pounds of carbon into the atmosphere.”