Tag Archives: health care reform

Shock! Limbaugh backs health care reform

Radio host Rush Limbaugh endorsed the Democratic health care reform legislation in Congress yesterday, surprising listeners and winning praise from liberals.

“If this passes and it’s five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica,” the conservative talker told a caller to his program.

Support for reform in the House and Senate immediately shot up, as members were deluged by constituent phone calls and emails urging they take Limbaugh up on his offer.

A snap poll taken last night by Stan Dardeviasian of Dardeviasian Opinion Research showed that after Limbaugh said he would leave the country, public support for health care reform increased to 80 percent — up from 65 percent last Friday.

“Rush Limbaugh has finally given the American people something they can agree on about health care reform, providing the final push to get it over the top,” said an obviously pleased House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

“Thanks to Rush, we now have an overwhelming majority in both houses of Congress, we should have this wrapped up by the end of the day,” she said.

In recognition of Limbaugh’s support, Pelosi said the reconciliation bill would be renamed the Buy The Big Fat Idiot A Ticket On An Omnibus to Costa Rica Act.

iNews Friday – Hey, You Got Your HCR On My Peanut Butter edition, 2/26/2010

A sampling of this week’s output from the iNews 9000 Turbo wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: Schwarzenegger Says “Worst Is Over” for Recession
Translation: Reporter misheard “Wurst is over” as Governator finished lunch

Headline: FBI Investigates Webcam Spy Allegations Against School
Translation: CIA sends recruiting officer

Headline: Some US Students Learn Mandarin With China’s Help
Translation: China needs an educated workforce to work in its call centers

Headline: Don’t Expect Miracles From Health Confab
Translation: GOP hits Obama – no faith healing in plan

Headline: Michele Bachmann RSVPs Regrets to Constituents
Translation: Miss Bachmann regrets she’s unable to demonize today, madam

Headline: Obama’s health care plan likely to dominate the week
Translation: Palin dominates weak-minded
Translation (Turbo mode): GOP dominates Reid

Headline: Palin to guest on Leno
Translation: Cue card guy gets night off, Leno to write monolog on his hand

Headline: Gibbs- We Didn’t Include The Public Option Because It Doesn’t Have The Votes
Translation
: The Corporate Ayes Have It

Headline: Andrew Breitbart Promises Final Solution to Liberalism in 3 Weeks
Translation: FEC v. Citizens United Macht Frei”

Headline: Fearing Obama Agenda, States Push to Loosen Gun Laws
Translation: States urge sick to get health care at gunpoint
Translation (Turbo mode): New home sales rise after warning shots

Headline: Alexander urges Obama to start with ‘clean sheet of paper’ on health care
Translation: GOP health care plan is a blank sheet of paper

Bayh unretires – Was “counting on my wife’s cut of the Anthem rate hike”

Senator Evan Bayh today reversed his week-old decision to retire from the U.S. Senate, citing economic reasons.

The two-term Indiana lawmaker told a Washington DC press conference he was forced to unretire after his wife learned Anthem Blue Cross of California is delaying a planned 39% hike in subscriber premiums. Susan Bayh is a board member of Indiana-based WellPoint, Anthem’s parent company.

“I was counting on my wife’s cut of the Anthem rate hike, that was going to be our retirement nest egg,” said Bayh.

Growing reflective, Bayh wondered aloud about the future of the American status quo. “I worked hard this past year making sure nothing happened with health care reform, for this?” he asked.

“It used to be in this country that a man born to wealth and power could use that position, and his cozy connections, to get even further ahead,” he said.

“Instead, I’m going to have to do like many Americans who have lost their retirement savings in the recession, and keep working. It makes you want to give up on the institution of Congress. Almost,” Bayh said.

In other news, the Obama administration announced nuclear power as the new centerpiece of its environment and energy efficiency policies. “America’s energy future won’t just be green, it will glow green thanks to new, totally safe-ish nuclear plants,” Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said.

GOP split on health care — Bachmann: we didn’t nuke Japan enough – Palin: we nuked them the right amount

A congresswoman’s remarks on Japan’s health care system this week have unexpectedly resulted in a disagreement between two of the Republican Party’s leading personalities.

It all began Tuesday when Rep. Michele Bachmann, addressing home state supporters in Rochester, Minnesota, warned that Democratic health proposals would lead to limits on Americans’ free speech. A government-controlled health plan, she said, would allow the government to threaten its critics by denying them health care.

Bachmann pointed to Japan as an illustration of what happens when the government takes over health care. “You know those old Japanese soldiers who hid in the jungles and didn’t know World War II was over until decades later?” she asked.

“Well what they were hiding from was the government health care system, forced down their throats after the war by that well-known pinko General Douglas MacArthur,” Bachmann said.

Bachmann reminded her audience that the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were a preemptive action meant to prevent post-war socialism. “Obviously we didn’t nuke them enough,” she said.

Those comments did not sit well with former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. The rising GOP star and Fox News commentator questioned Bachmann’s version of history, telling viewers Tuesday night, “I’ve seen M*A*S*H? So I think I’m on on firm ground by pointing out MacArthur was a Korean general, not Japanese?”

Continued Palin: “And not only that, but if you don’t mind me saying so also, the nuking was needed to rouse Godzilla from his slumbering on the ocean floor.”

“Thereto, the three times we nuked Japan was exactly the right amount,” Palin said.

However, in a retort issued through her press office, the Minnesota lawmaker stood by her evaluation that Japan had not been nuked enough. “If all of Japan had been incinerated, it would have saved them from being enslaved by socialist government health care,” Bachmann said.

State of the Union – Obama expected to outline failures for the rest of 2010

President Obama will use his first State of the Union address tonight to say he has learned a great deal in the first year of his administration. An advance outline of the speech reveals he will tell the American people and a joint session of Congress that lessons learned from those failures will help shape failures during his second year in office.

The theme will be ‘if you are disappointed by the failure of health care reform, you ain’t seen nothing yet.’

The president is still fine tuning his remarks, but true to his reputation for bipartisanship he is expected to include many Republican applause lines. The text is said to currently include the sentence, ‘our failures will get bigger and stupider, each more maddeningly boneheaded than the one preceding it.’

Foreign policy

• The president will ask Israel to allow a homeland for the Palestinians, but will settle for a disused mini-golf course in East Jerusalem.
• The CIA will orchestrate a separatist movement in the Burgundy region of France, straining relations with the European Union.
• The State Department will act to negotiate peace between Apple and Amazon in the tablet war.

War on Terror

• Obama will propose uniting Pakistan and Afghanistan into one country, ‘Pakanistan,’ so U.S. Predator drones will no longer need to worry about which side of the border they’re on.

• Air travelers concerned about being recorded by whole-body millimeter wave scanners will be offered new privacy protections: scan-reflecting thongs and, for women, tassels.

Economy and Trade

• Covert funding of the aforementioned Burgundian separatist movement will result in guerrilla action in the vicinity of Dijon. Supplies of mustard will be interrupted, rippling through the U.S. hamburger, hot dog, and stadium concessions sectors.

• The president will announce that leading economic indicators are predicting the only thing stimulated in the economy this year will be John and Elizabeth Edwards’ divorce lawyers.

Discussion of domestic policy must include the issue that bedeviled the first 12 months of Obama’s administration: health care reform, which he is almost certain to relate to the recently announced three-year non-defense spending freeze.

Obama is likely to sell the freeze as a way to guarantee there will be no way to fund any public insurance solution. This pledge will be called ‘insurance for insurance companies.’

He will also call on Congress to allow banks to review and edit legislation on banking regulation and investor protection. A proposal for federally-funded investor protection helmets, with decals designed by Sasha and Malia, could be a big hit with Republican skateboarders.

inews9kRelive Eritas’s SOTU tweets

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Activists hail court ruling, march for corporate marriage rights

President Obama’s new initiative to limit the size of corporations met with stiff resistance from civil rights activists today, following the Supreme Court’s ruling that corporations are entitled to the same right of expression as natural persons.

The ruling buoyed a group of corporate marriage activists marching in front of the White House. Many held placards reading, “Freedom To Merge,” “Adam & Eve and Comcast & NBC,” and “Keep Your Laws Off My Org Chart.”

Corporations who had gathered outside the high court cheered when the 5-4 decision was announced. “We’re close to winning equal rights as people, said Cerberus Capital. “Soon I’ll be able to call my insatiable desire to consume small companies something other than monopoly.”

Cerberus said he and his partners hope to someday start a family and adopt several Congressional oversight committees.

Pastor Jim Phelps, chaplain at the International Monetary Fund Wedding Chapel, has long campaigned for the right for two or more corporations to marry. Phelps hailed the court’s decision as a good first step to full rights for corporate persons. “There can no longer be a compelling interest in government denying corporations in a loving relationship the legal recognition of their monopoly, even if polygamous,” he said.

However, the activists’ cause received a cool reception at the White House.

Press secretary Robert Gibbs said the president will continue to oppose any pro-corporate marriage laws in Congress. “President Obama intends to devote as much effort into stopping corporate marriage as he has into leading on health care reform,” Gibbs said.