Tag Archives: michele bachmann

Obama backs Geithner – Denies Robbie The Robot being groomed for Treasury

President Obama told a national TV audience that he has full confidence in Secretary Tim Geithner, countering growing doubts about his Treasury Secretary’s handling of America’s financial crisis.

“If he were to submit his resignation, I’d tell him ‘sorry buddy, but you’ve got the job until it kills you and the critics are picking the flesh from your bones’,” Obama told Seals & Kroft on CBS’ “Sixty Minutes”
last Sunday.

The president also took the opportunity to deny reports that he intends to replace Geithner with former actor Robbie The Robot.

Robbie - Could he pass a background check?
Robbie - Could he pass a background check?

Robot, who starred in the film Forbidden Planet and “Lost In Space” on television and is currently Governor of California, has been increasingly talked up to take the top Treasury job after his name began circulating on Capitol Hill last week.

Rep. Michele Bachmann, House GOP front-person on crazy policy, said Robot could be a consensus choice as an alternative to Geithner.

“The trillion-dollar bank bailout needs someone who can speak up and warn the president, ‘Danger! Danger, Barack Obama!'” said Bachmann.

“That’s the kind of plain-spoken, uncomplicated economic oversight Republicans can get behind,” she said.

However, former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul of Texas disagrees with Bachmann. “Disposing of toxic assets calls for the Toxic Avenger,” Rep. Paul said.

iNews Friday, Technical Difficulties Edition – 3/13/2009

From the iNews 9000 wi-fi headline translator—

Headline: Margaret Hamburg is President Obama’s pick to run the FDA
Translation: (What is that, a bump? More like a lump. It wasn’t there last week. Hey, I hold my cellphone on that side of my head…)

Headline: Romania president’s flashy daughter seeks EU seat

Translation: Elena Basescu shows her position on the issues


Headline: Kerlikowske is nominated to head nation’s drug control office
Translation: Drug czar relieved appointees no longer receive President-chosen nickname

Headline: Palin’s Teenage Daughter Splits from Father of Her Child


Translation: Gov. Palin buys new shotgun

Translation (Turbo mode): Levi Johnston gets milk for free – Plus 18 years of child support and college tuition

Headline: Obama Establishes White House Council on Women and Girls
Translation: Obama mother-in-law appointed to Greenland-based council

Headline: North Korean alert for “space launch”


Translation: OJ Simpson cast in Capricorn One sequel

You will also be amused by: Bachmann to host “America’s Next Top Michael Steele” – FOX News launches ‘Unreality TV’ genre

Limbaugh gets another apology – Bachmann sorry she called Steele “da man”

Broadcaster and de facto Republican Party leader Rush Limbaugh has netted another apology to add to his growing collection of mea culpas from important people who have slighted him in the media.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) went before reporters today in Washington, DC, and officially withdrew GOP Chairman Michael Steele’s title of “da man,” which she bestowed on him just last week at the Conservative Political Action Conference. Bachmann called unforgivable recent public statements by Steele, in which he called Limbaugh an entertainer, and his show as ugly.

“I am so very, abjectly sorry I told Steele that he be da man instead of Rush, if anyone is da man it’s our leader Rush Limbaugh,” said Bachmann.

“You, you be da man, Rush!” she said, visibly emotional.

“In fact, it is my distinct, deep, pleasure to apologize to Rush. And I do mean pleasure,” said Bachmann, winking.

“I could lie back in his da manly arms and apologize to his bloodshot-red, white and blue eyes all day,” she said.

It was a big day for Limbaugh, apologies-wise. Actor Mary Lynn Rajskub, who plays ‘Chloe’ on the Fox series “24,” apologized for not going past first base with the conservative talker. The two were romatically linked in 2006.

Notes from the Transition – Minnesota town to hang ’em high

The election of Barack Obama means change is coming. But what kind of change? In this series we check in with individuals and communities across America, and ask them: What has already changed since November 4? What changes are you still looking forward to, and how are you getting ready?

Part 2 in a series

Bachmann
Bachmann

(Stillwater, MN) The excitement in this town northwest of Minneapolis is palpable, with news media from the world over arriving to cover the loyalty hearings that get underway December 15. The hearings are being initiated by Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, who has become the Republican Party’s leader on loyalty verification issues.
      “Michele Bachmann said we need to expose who’s pro-America and who’s anti-America — and now it’s actually going to happen,” said an excited Cameron Kirk Frandle, who describes himself as a professional Christian.
      “It’s a perfect blend of church, state and spectacle,” Frandle said.
      Stillwater residents say the publicity surrounding the Bachmann Hearings, and the out of town visitors it brings, are good for the local economy. Restaurants are doing a brisk trade, and many hotels have started taking reservations for fall of 2009, when Bachmann promises the first in a series of public hangings.

(Connecticut) Change for Senator Joseph I. Lieberman means settling into his new role as chairman of the Select Committee on Getting Harry Reid Coffee. Reports Lieberman: “There’s not much to do, since Mormons don’t drink coffee. As a result, I have plenty of time for things like adding to my Hummel collection and keeping up with The Young & Restless.”

Zan-Tor -  floating on air.
Zan-Tor - floating on air.
(Algona, WA) Zan-Tor, a malevolent energy cloud-being, was a John McCain supporter. But these days he is describing himself as upbeat. “Amazing thing happen to Zan-Tor,” said Zan-Tor.
      “Zan-Tor feed on fear and hate. But there is less fear and hate since November The Four, so Zan-Tor has been on diet,” he said.
      “Zan-Tor has lost much weight, Zan-Tor feel like new malevolent energy cloud-being.”
      Zan-Tor went on to say that his self-esteem has improved greatly, giving him the confidence to seek a promotion at the Washington Department of Licensing office where he has worked for the last 3 million years, “or maybe it just seem that long to Zan-Tor.”

Burton shows how to put a teensy hole in a condom.
Burton shows how to put a teensy hole in a condom.
(Peyton, CO) Law student Kristi Burton, 21, authored an amendment to the Colorado state constitution that would have defined life as beginning at conception. On November 4 the proposal, Amendment 48, was rejected by 73% of voters.
      Now Burton has a new cause: an amendment that would define life as beginning at 40.
      “I saw what a great time Governor Palin had when she ran with John McCain also, and what a great contribution she made, even though she’s so old,” said Burton.
      “I can only hope I too will have that much youthful energy to run wild, have fun, and demolish the electoral viability of the neoconservative movement when I am in my forties, if I am so blessed to reach such an advanced age.”