All posts by Frogette

Badges, we don’t need no stinking badges

Homeland Security Nazi Michael Chertoff recently rolled out a new driver’s license initiative. DHS will now require those born after Dec. 1, 1964 to have a Homeland Security approved driver’s license in order to board a plane. Not drive mind you, just to fly. Oh, and you have until 2014 to comply. Boomers have until 2017 because, as we all know they’re slower on the uptake. And they make crappy terrorists, they can’t even program their own VCRs for crying out loud.

Chertoff doesn’t go into a lot of detail about what exactly the security features of this new license are. I’m guessing it’s going to be stamped, “Not a boomer” across the front in bright red ink. You know to keep us Gen X/Y/whatevers from trying to use the Medicare system or cash Social Security checks. I mean with all those Boomers set to retire soon, the government already has their hands full.

He assures us that the new licenses will curb illegal immigration, identity theft, and make it harder for terrorists to move about. I’m looking for a license that offers me a photo that doesn’t look like a mugshot, and actually has my true height and weight on it. That or one that makes julienne fries.

Maybe he’s right though . Maybe we do need a tighter system for national security. Here’s a thought, we have this enormous passport bureau. Why don’t we just require every U.S. citizen to carry a passport? Oh, right because without a second form of identification it’s not valid.

Shut up you corporate kiss-butt

I read the most ridiculous article in The Week recently. It was entitled, “Warding off a pink slip”. They had all sorts of tips from talking heads. One was to stay put in your current job and take on extra work. They believe this could pay off later in terms of salary and promotions. They have a quote from Gary Rich of Rich Leadership. He says, “Companies remember who helped them out through a tough time.” Yeah, right Gar. I’ve met this kind of jackhole in corporate life. They’re paid to bring people together and sing Kumbaya. And they’re about as useful as those idiots who conduct team building exercises.

I don’t know about you, but I lived through 9/11 and the 2000 dot com bust and I don’t recall anyone patting me on the head for my efforts. I think the idea that companies are greatful to their employees is just utter bullshit. I mean does anyone really believe this anymore? Employees are disposable cogs in a giant machine. They figure you’re replaceable. They’re not going to bend over backwards to reward your loyalty, they’re more likely to outsource your job to India and send you on your way.

This just in

After initially being denied a visa to visit the United States and perform at the Grammy Awards, Amy Winehouse has now been granted permission to enter our country. Seems she had a little “reefer madness” in Norway last October that freaked out the U.K. branch of the U.S. Embassy and caused them to deny her first request. A few phone calls (from the Grammy producers, the writer’s guild, Al Sharpton and Dennis Hopper) and voila the embassy writes her a visa. Guess that anti-terrorism campaign is really in full swing, eh guys? Don’t fret though, Ms. Winehouse has released a statement that she’s not coming to America. Her reason, “Oy, in the States Special K is a breakfast cereal. Bloody hell!”

$25 to lose my *freaking* luggage?!

United Airlines announced this week that it would begin charging it’s passengers $25 to check a second bag on their flights. This came as a shock to most of us. Baggage handling has always been a “complimentary service”. Well now you’re going to pay. The airline claims they’re being forced to implement this charge so they can continue to offer low fares in the face of high fuel surcharges. By eliminating the second bag they are lightening their load, and that saves fuel.

Oh yeah, and they expect to generate $100 million dollars in cost savings and additional revenue. As Dr. Evil would say, $100 million dollars!

This is the same airline that in the 2008 Department of Transportation Air Travel Consumers Report lost 7.68 bags per 1,000 passengers. That’s almost 1% of the bags they handle!

So essentially what’s happened here is this. TSA has refused to let you board with anything over 3 ounces. That means if you’re a chick, like me, you now have to check your cosmetics bag as well as your suitcase. And pay $25 for the privilege. All I can say is where is that Airline Passenger Bill of Rights. I’m mad as hell and I’m ready to sign on!

My 12 step program

Hi, my name’s Frogette and I’m a lurker. For years I’ve been hovering in the background on great blogs like Blognonymous (hi Honey!), Morning Martini, Mr. Blog, and Genius of Insanity. I hung out at the back of the room like a wall flower at a high school dance. I wasn’t sure how to approach all of you cool kid bloggers. So I waited. “My moment will come”, I thought. One day I’ll have something important to say.

Well that never happened, but I did find I have a lot of unimportant things to say. So stay tuned because I’ve done my 12 steps and I’m ready to join the party!

File this one under “Duh!”

Jossip.com is reporting that Americans are over their love affair with reality television. Yup, it seems they’ve had enough of American Idol, Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann and Wife Swap. The writer’s strike, now hitting the 3 month mark, has us all running out of content. Myself I’ve been to the movie theater, burned through everything NetFlix has on offer, and even turned to YouTube.com to keep me going during The Great Content Drought of 2007/2008. If this doesn’t let up soon I’m going to have to go back to reading books for crying out loud, and really, who wants that?

Jeff Zucker, President of NBC Universal and demi-god of the broadcast television networks announced in Vegas that the writer’s strike will cause their industry to reinvent itself. Um, duh Jeff. With no content you’re going to have a hard time filling those network slots and posting on Hulu.com (is that even online yet?). Zucker wants to eliminate pilot season, big ad conventions in Vegas, and charge you for digitized content (Hulu.com and NBC.com).

I say do what you gotta do man. I want my Battlestar Galactica back. It’s the only really smart thing on t.v. anyway. Oh, and when you hire those writer’s back, how about you all stop insulting the intelligence of the American public with dumbass shows like According to Jim and Ghost Whisperer?