Category Archives: War

A Grisly Exclamation Point On Bush’s Presidency

I have resisted writing about the appalling situation in the Gaza strip because over the years the switch in my politics from pro to anti-Israel, has cost me many friends. But now, with a withdrawal and ceasefire looming, there’s something about this situation that needs to be said.

There is no question that blowing up busloads of Israeli citizens is evil. Lobbing crude rockets into civilian populations, as Hamas did at the outset of the conflict, is evil. But for Israel to then turn around and claim that what looks like a systematic attempt to exterminate the captive population of Gaza is a proportional response is the height of lunacy. Bombing hospitals, with children playing on the roof, is evil. Dropping white-phosphorous munitions…by the ton, on civilians, is evil. Trying to sink a boatload of doctors that are trying to bring relief to Gazan hospitals, is evil.

But perhaps most evil, is the cold calculation that dictates that the invasion must take place in the final month of Bush’s term and must be stopped before he leaves. And why? Because Bush supports Israel as no US president ever has through his monumental indifference. While Israel exterminates dozens of civilians for each militant they manage to kill, Bush calls off the State Department and forces the US to abstain when, even the spineless diplomats of the UN, resolve to condemn the invasion.

Thus, a thousand people had to die for no better reason than the fact that Bush is on the way out.

Gazans unionize – Israel must provide daily 3 hour break

Hopes for a solution to the situation in Gaza rose today, on news that Palestinian residents had approved a vote to form a union, a United Nations agency, the International Labour Organization, has announced.

UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon hailed the vote as a breakthrough. “At last, an opportunity for Mideast peace that my bureaucracy can deal with,” said Moon.

By creating the union, to be called United Fodder, Gazans will finally gain basic protections, said ILO spokesman Juan Ponce Trabajador.

Most important of these are the right to a daily three-hour break, said Trabajador. “It’s only fair that Israel sit its high-tech war machine once a day, and Gazans have that time to dig out, clear rubble and seek overstretched medical services,” he said.

Surviving union officers are scheduled to meet with Israeli negotiators in Cairo next week on a range of other issues, including disability, life and funeral insurance plans. The plans will be presented by the regional representative of AIG Insurance, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair.

Israel government sources in Tel Aviv expressed guarded optimism at the vote. “A union with popular backing might be something we can work with,” said one source. Progress would have to be shown on issues important to Israel, such as the lack of parking for tanks in Gaza City, the source said.

In Washington, the Bush Administration welcomed the vote, but urged caution. “We cannot allow unions to drive up costs of the impending Rapture,” said press secretary Dana Perino.

Dear Mr. President

I know that you must be very busy these days picking out a suit for your inauguration, trying to figure out how to keep your girls out of public school and keep your liberal cred, and just generally spreading HOPE everywhere you go. And let’s face it after almost 2 years of campaigning you probably really need a nap. Hear me out though. Here at Casa la Rana we have some suggestions for your new administration. This is just an off the cuff wish list of things I’d like to see in the next 4 years.

  • First and foremost I want peace. Get us out of Iraq and Afghanistan and don’t even think about invading any place else for at least your first 6 months in office.
  • A federal constitutional amendment recognizing gay marriage. Frankly I’m tired of voting about this in every other California election only to have my vote overturned by outstaters.
  • Some economic stability. Stop paying those Wall Street assholes their bonuses and help the American people to stay in their homes. Oh and fire Paulson, he’s king asshole.
  • An investment and a long term strategy for alternative fuels. This could be California’s next boom. Besides it would solve so many problems!
  • Health care. Fairly distributed, decently priced and untaxed. Healthy Americans benefit everyone. They live longer, better, and are more productive.

Thanks for listening. Look, I know you’re going to do great. I mean, hell, how could you possibly be worse than that last guy?!



Not To Be Outdone By Ivanov

Russia has invaded a sovereign neighboring state and threatens a democratic government elected by its people. Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century…”

— US President George Bush (on Tuesday)

Well…he actually said it before Ivanov, so maybe the Russian leader’s statement was a reaction. But more likely it was just a calculated political ploy to remind the world that Russians aren’t the only ones who find reasons to invade other nations.

The United States of America stands with the democratically elected government of Georgia, insists that the sovereignty and territorial integrity of Georgia be respected,”

— US President George Bush (Wednesday)

Oh yeah…and we’re f*cking poster children for respecting the ‘territorial integrity of sovereign nations’.

I know how to win wars says McCain

“I will turn around the war in Afghanistan, just as we have turned around the war in Iraq…”

Now that is the kind of leadership we have all been waiting for – let’s just spread the half arsed effort even thinner, then piss off the many countries who have been carrying the Afghanistan action.

What does the Senator suggest?

• establish a “unity of command” that will oversee U.S. as well as NATO forces
• appoint a “Afghanistan czar” to report directly to the president on the progress of the war
• boost in non-military assistance (contract mercenaries?)

Yes McCain, you just do it again, repeat the proven disaster that is Iraq, the failed attempt to secure those oil fields. With luck the projected pipeline to the Indian Ocean will become another massively expensive disaster.

Remember this is the same McCain who can’t tell a Shia from a Sunni. He obviously has little regard for the realities of international relations or the dedicated efforts many other countries have been making in Afghanistan, carefully isolated from US forces.

The fact is, the US – people like McCain – are the only ones who call the Afghan action a war. For everyone else the effort is aimed at stabilizing the region to the degree that there is simply no place or local support for extremist groups.

It is not a pissing competition, not a childish game of winning and losing. Genghis Khan was the last to actually subdue the region, with every effort since ending in abject failure and greater empowerment of war lords.

I can’t see evidence of the “I can win wars” claim, just an obvious desire to make war. McCain and his ilk need a major mind shift, a rhetoric realignment if they expect to win anything outside their partisan supporters.

As an indication of why the rest of the world looks forward to an Obama administration:

“For eight years, we have paid the price for a foreign policy that lectures without listening, that divides us from one another — and from the world — instead of calling us to a common purpose — a politics that focuses on our tactics in fighting a war without end in Iraq instead of forging a new strategy to face down the true threats that we face”

“Bestest ever” birthday for Bush – McCain gives President pony

(Toyako, Japan) The leaders of the Group of 8 industrialized countries helped President Bush celebrate his 62nd birthday yesterday, throwing the POTUS a spectacular birthday bash — bigger even than the party for Germany’s head of state in 1944, according to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Bush had arrived in Japan for what he thought would be a hard-working G-8 summit. On the agenda were important issues including aid to Africa and reducing carbon emissions. But when Bush entered the conference room in this resort town in northern Japan, he was met with a shower of confetti and balloons, and a buffet table featuring hot dogs, Fritos and, of course, Kool-Aid. The party was rumored to have cost the U.S. State Department as much as $0.000000025 billion at Costco.

Featured at the party were comedian Dennis Miller, the song stylings of Pat Boone, and the antics of the Grape Ape, the G-8’s official costumed mascot who is a favorite of children at exclusive boarding schools all over Switzerland and New England.

There was no birthday cake, because Bush said he’s dieting in order to fit into a new pair of mountain bike shorts.

Not in attendance was Bush’s heir apparent, Sen. John Sidney McCain III. McCain was taking the weekend off from campaigning, but the apparent GOP nominee for president sent a gift that Bush praised as “the bestest ever” — a pony.

Appropriately, the steed is no ordinary equine, but a veteran of the Iraq occupation. Named “T.J. Hoofer,” the brown Shetland served his first tour of duty in late 2003 as part of a support team searching for WMD, and later for improvised explosive devices.

T.J. Hoofer served two more tours before being severely wounded in March 2007, when an IED cost him three legs. However, he entered the rehabilitation program at the USDA’s Meat Animal Research Center, where he met McCain during a goodwill visit by the senator.

McCain saw to it that the pony received three high-technology replacement limbs manufactured by Airbus/EADS, a provision contained within the Air Force tanker contract.

Bush took T.J. Hoofer for a ride around the Toyako area Sunday evening, but it was a bittersweet excursion. On Wednesday T.J. Hoofer is scheduled to be redeployed to Afghanistan for his fourth tour of duty.

1st Amendment shields Bush on prewar intel lies – President flashes Fox News “Jr. Journalist Klub Kard”

President Bush confounded the Senate Intelligence Committee yesterday, claiming the Bill Of Rights guarantee of press freedom gave him the right to lie about intelligence in the run up to the invasion of Iraq.

The committee issued two reports Thursday that criticized the president in harsh terms, saying his administration had made false claims of ties between Iraq and al Qaeda.

But responding to questions during a White House press briefing Friday, spokesperson Dana Perino revealed to correspondents that the president is a member of the Fox News ‘Jr. Journalist Klub,’ and is therefore, for legal purposes, a reporter protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution.

“Under a federal court ruling it is therefore permissible for him, in his role as a reporter, to lie,” Perino said. She was referring to a 2005 Florida appeals court decision that there is no rule against distorting or falsifying news.

Bush, attired in a Judith Miller Fan Club t-shirt, was sitting with the press corps taking notes, and flashed them his Jr. Journalist Klub Kard.

“See? All nice and official,” Bush said.

He went on to add, “Jay Rockefeller can’t touch this. Nyah nyah. I win again.”

On its website Fox calls the club “a Fox News fan organization for boys and girls of all ages.”

U.S. to aid new insurgent fight – Bush warns against appeasing Prince Caspian

President Bush has raised the specter of a new enemy in the global war on terror.

Speaking to Israel’s national legislative body, Bush said that it would be a mistake to change U.S. war on terror policy because it could give hope to insurgents such as Prince Caspian, the so-called ‘Butcher of Aslan’s How.’

“Prince Caspian is leading an insurgency against King Miraz and the lawful Telmarine government,” said Bush.

“Worse, his insurgent fighters possess magical and probably Satanic powers, and he desires to acquire WMD, weapons of magical destruction,” he said.

“We have reports that Caspian met with Iranian intelligence in the airport in Prague. And according to British intelligence, Caspian has tried to acquire quantities of magic from Africa. What if Caspian should acquire magic from North Korea?”

“We cannot wait for the evidence, a smoking wand that could come in the form of a magic mushroom,” warned Bush.

In an aside apparently directed at Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, the president went on to say that changing U.S policy “would send a message of appeasement, giving hope to the Caspians of the world.”

Said Bush: “We cannot be seen to be appeasing the insurgents. Because appeasement means, you’re appeasing. That you’re giving, doing things to appease an, an entity that wants to be appeased. And that means being an appeaser, someone who engages in appeasement,” Bush said. He pledged to do all within his power to fight the Caspian threat.

Bush issued the stern warning during last Thursday’s address to the Knesset, which he called the Nesset.

To honor Bush for his steadfast support of Israel, the Knesset immediately passed an act renaming itself the Nesset.

Responding for the Obama campaign on the question of appeasement, Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) on Sunday invited the President to kiss his hiney.

The Pentagon announced today it plans to send military assistance to Telmarine, in the form of “bunker-buster” boulders used in catapult weapon systems.

A national spiritual holiday

This Friday, the 25th of April, is undoubtedly the most profoundly spiritual day for most Australians. ANZAC Day (Australian and New Zealand Army Corps) continues to be more than just another day off, a reason to party, even to those of us opposed to warfare.

Even during my teen years opposing Vietnam I recall attending ANZAC Day dawn services, the most moving event I can conjure. The dawn service commemorates the time of the original landing of our troops at Gallipoli during the WWI. The ritual includes ‘standing to’ before two minutes of silence was observed, broken by the sound of a lone piper playing the ‘Last Post’.

I will be going to the local dawn service on Friday, supporting a group of young army cadets. But across the country the importance of the event continues, with the majority of those attending now being under 30 yo.

I can only reflect, from my own feelings, this is has nothing to do with glorifying war, rather recognising that through the generations the courage and camaraderie implicit in just standing up for what we believe is right. We continue to fight for the things we believe in, even if the only weapons are words.

Mind you, the breakfast ain’t half bad. I forgo the rum personally, but I never say no to the early morning glass of beer…