Category Archives: Satire

The Week in iNews

To Ragebot readers: Original R&D work on the iNews family of Wi-Fi Headline Translators was done by Air America Radio’s old morning show. That prototype unit, the Model 5000, was acquired by Wiseline Institute Northwest in early 2007 at a garage sale. An OS update CD found at a Pike Place Market pawn shop upgraded it to Model 9000 Turbo.

Ever since it has been activated most Fridays at Mr_Blog’s Left Turn. By special arrangement, we are pleased to install it here on Ragebot for your enjoyment.

From the iNews 9000 Turbo Wi-Fi Headline Translator:

Headline: Israel wants Egypt to reseal Gaza border
Translation: No economic stimulus package for Palestinians

Headline: Bush – faith helped beat addiction to alcohol
Translation: “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines”

Headline: M’s will need more than Bedard
Translation: Seattle pitchers and catchers report to Lourdes

Headline: I-90 closed at Snoqualmie Pass due to avalanche
Translation: Huckabee, in search of landslide, yodeled

Headline: #3 al-Qaeda Leader Killed
Translation: Continued vacancy at #2 hailed as “makin’ good progress”

Headline: Schwarzenegger Endorses McCain
Translation: McCain pledges to build “Skynet” computer-based defense system

Headline: Cable Snafu Cuts Internet Access in India
Translation: Indians unable to email selves for tech support

Headline: Messenger’s Pictures From Mercury Surprise Scientists
Translation: Queen front man, thought dead, returns – will tour with Zeppelin this year

Headline: Chicago voters join early voting trend
Translation: Fetuses now outnumber dead in voter registrations

Headline: Giuliani’s epic collapse
Translation: Only received 911 votes in Florida