Tag Archives: deathers

Fearful lawmakers cancel health forums – Pro-reform crowds armed with facts

Alarm about the intensity of debate has prompted more members of Congress to cancel planned town hall style meetings on health care reform. This time it is Republican members doing the canceling, citing concerns over attendance by potentially armed citizens.

“Last weekend a number of my colleagues reported their meetings being disrupted by polite people armed with facts,” said Rep. Heath Lackey, a Republican who represents the district that includes Westmost, North Carolina. He held a Saturday session there, but canceled a planned Sunday session after concluding attendance by people openly armed with facts posed a significant danger.

Lackey also said his office has been receiving a steady stream of spell-checked, unabusive letters and e-mails from non-anonymous people.

Forums held earlier in the lawmakers’ August recess were dominated by anti-reform citizens who shouted down representatives, senators and others in the audience. Some silently exercised their Second Amendment rights.

In contrast, the end of the recess has degenerated into articulate presentations by so-called ‘Reform-ers’ — supporters of reform and the public option. Almost all of them come to the meetings armed with facts and vocabularies. Conservative blogs and websites have posted photos of reform-ers using their inside voices and in possession of ammunition in large magazines, like the New Yorker and Harper’s.

The open display of intelligent expression worries many of Lackey’s constituents like M.F. Nutt of Westmost. He describes himself as “a birther and a deather, like most regular people around here.” Nutt attended Lackey’s Saturday forum, but left early when he saw people carrying facts and that there was a Hannah Montana marathon starting on the Disney Channel.

“It was like at any moment one of those smart people could have snapped and shot my belief system full of holes. I feel I was lucky to escape,” said Nutt.

“Those people are simply not crazy,” agreed Shirley A. Nutt, who watched the Hannah Montana marathon with her husband. “Reform-ers claim insurance companies will use ‘preexisting conditions’ to kill sick people. Reform-ers are just trying to scare people who have preexisting conditions,” she said.

“It is really sad, and sadder that they’re setting such a poor example for the children,” she added.

“Yeah, ‘Teach your children well,’ like that commie hippie group,” observed her husband.

“Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young,” his wife replied, also noting that Nash and Young were not even born in the United States.

Law enforcement officials say there is no restriction on carrying facts in public despite the alarm it can cause.

Sheriff Andrew Taylor of nearby Mayberry, North Carolina, assured the public there is no danger. “We got the same kind of 911 calls a couple of weeks ago, from people freaked out over reform-ers who were openly carrying video cameras,” Taylor said.

“I’ll tell you now what I told them then: folks need to just calm down and get educated on the issues. ‘Teach your children well,’ as the song goes,” said Taylor, who is facing a September recall election.

Also today: Beck claims Americorps will be Obama’s Starfleet

Wiseline Institute NeWs Service is now
ERITAS

FDA recalls Republican Party – Contaminated by nuts

The Food and Drug Administration has ordered a nationwide recall on the Republican Party after tests revealed the party to be contaminated by nuts. The agency took the unprecedented step after the GOP refused to issue a voluntary recall.

Rep. Brian Baird (Connecticut for Lieberman Party-WA) became one of the high profile victims, when he was forced to hold a town hall meeting-style forum on health insurance reform via teleconference.

“I used to be fine with nuts, I opposed withdrawing from Iraq and everything,” said Baird.

“But last week I had to go to my spin doctor with tightness in my throat. Imagine my surprise when he told me it was an anaphylactic reaction to nutjob dust,” he said. The contamination was traced to contacts with the many deathers in his 3rd Congressional District in southwest Washington.

Baird pledged that he would seek to have mental health parity included in any health reform legislation in the House.

An FDA spokesman urged the public to always inspect their political parties for nuts. “Last week we had this one guy, ate a half-cooked bildernutburger and came down with Mad Larouche Disease,” said Rick X. Frandle. He recommended that anyone with known sensitivity to nuts and nutjobs should stop consuming Republican ideas, and return the party’s products unopened to the manufacturer.

Conservatives oppose forcible health – “Save our freedom to be sick”

(Upland, CA) Members of Congress from coast to coast are having their eyes opened this week, as they hear from constituents opposed to health care reform.

“We’re speaking out to save our freedom to be sick,” said Dee Fibrilasian, one of many self-described ‘sickers’ — people who believe illness is a right.

Fibrilasian and like-minded sickers turned out here in force Monday for a midday town hall meeting held by 54th District Representative Dino Frandle, a member of the House Democratic ‘blue dog’ coalition. They hooted, hollered and booed as Frandle expressed cautious support for reforms that would cover additional Americans while leaving intact the private insurance system.

“Forcibly insuring more people is the opposite of the direction we should be headed,” shouted one woman who declined to give her name because, she explained, she had called in sick to be able to attend the meeting.

“What will happen to our sick leave, if socialized Obamacare makes sure we are too healthy to use it?” she wondered. She went on to say she feared she might have to quit one of her three jobs, if cheaper insurance made it possible for employers to raise pay.

Fibrillasian said she agreed with statements former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin made on her Facebook page, alleging reform would lead to government ‘death panels’ pruning high-cost senior citizens and the developmentally disabled from insurance pools. “What makes government think it can kill people better than the private sector?” Fibrilasian asked.

After the town hall meeting Rep. Frandle said he was impressed by the turnout and by the forceful way the sickers stated their opinions. “They were certainly loud,” he said as he departed for a luncheon, a reelection fundraiser with employees of Aetna and Pfizer.