Tag Archives: email

An Elizabeth takes exception to nickname

Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Miss Elizabeth,

You will permit me to express the enormity of the rapture I feel owing to your acceptance of me last evening. In my mind’s eye I am content to envision us ensconced at Pemberley. You, a vision in silk and jewels, your eyes reflecting the sunset more brilliantly than the well-stocked lake. Me, regarding the vista before me, and finding the manicured grounds suddenly inferior to the latest addition. In order that I might pursue my case with your father at the earliest opportunity, please apprise me of the most suitable time when he is at home to receive me.

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

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Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Liz,

The sun has tracked across the morning sky, and I have not received word from you with regard to your father’s convenience. My love, please reply, as my heart grows impatient at this delay in beginning our union.

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

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Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Netherfield Park

Dear Mr. Darcy,

You will permit me, sir, to ask something of you: WHO is “LIZ”?

Most sincerely,
Elizabeth Bennet

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Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Miss Elizabeth,

Forgive me if my attempt to foster familiarity between us was misplaced as well as hasty. For I was given to believe that the endearment in question to be a form of Elizabeth to be commonly applied in society. But let us not contest this small matter. When may I call on your father?

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

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Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Netherfield Park

Dear Mr. Darcy,

My identity in the world is no small matter, as you put it. There are many forms of my name, and I take to none of them save for ‘Lizzie’, which I permit only my immediate family. Not Liz, Betty, Beth, or Sexy Petticoats. If it were not so, then by what precedent do others call me Elizabeth, or that I introduce myself to them as Elizabeth, or that I sign this letter

Elizabeth Bennet

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Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn

Dear Elizabeth,

Look. I thought I heard somebody at Mr. Bingley’s ball call you Liz. Now let us get on with it. D’Accord?

God bless you,
Fitzwilliam Darcy

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Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Netherfield Park

Dear Mr. Darcy,

WHO? WHO CALLED ME LIZ? You should be aware, sir, that many in town claim to have made my acquaintance, but they do so without cause or justification. I am unfamiliar with customs in the north, but in Hertfordshire there are those who aspire most ardently to certain social circles, yet to which they are not invited, nor shall ever be.

My dear sister Mary informed me that one of your letters arrived when I was indisposed. A lady does need to take a turn out of the drawing room on occasion. I now tire of this correspondence. Please meet me, that we may discuss this misunderstanding. May I suggest that place where we met that time to talk about that thing.

Most sincerely,
Elizabeth Bennet