Tag Archives: Energy

Bush III Says, “Drill Baby Drill!”

In a move that will be remembered for its stunning level of cynical political calculation, the Obama administration has stated that it will restart oil exploration and drilling in the eastern Gulf, in the mid-Atlantic, and off of Alaska.  For those of you who may have forgotten, Bu$hCo did exactly the same thing on the cusp of the 2004 election except back then it was California and the Pacific Northwest that were going to be “re-opened” to oil exploration, ending almost 30 years of California having the final say over drilling off its coasts.

Now, setting aside issues of whether or not the US needs more oil, and focusing solely on the politics of this policy move, consider the states most affected by Bush III’s decision:  Alaska, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida.  All are states that Obama can probably afford to lose in the next election.  In fact, with the exception of Florida, there’s little chance he’d carry any of them.  So why not tell the citizens of these states to “go f*ck themselves”.  It’s not like you’ll lose any electors over it, right?

Way to go “Third”!  Yes we can…screw the Red States, further f*ck up the environment, retard America’s movement toward a more energy-efficient, more sustainable society, and scratch the Big Oil’s back…all at the same time!

Saudi King Wants to Goose Oil Prices

The King of Saudi Arabia doesn’t like seeing the price of oil dropping like crazy. “We believe the fair price for oil is $75 a barrel,” he said. OPEC will figure out how to stick it to us with much, much higher oil prices when that organization meets Dec. 17 in Algeria.

Funny, I don’t recall an outcry for $75 dollars a barrel oil when it cost $147 a barrel in July.

According to the AP, “On Friday, the U.S. benchmark West Texas Intermediate crude for January delivery was trading at about $54 per barrel.”

Of course, I look forward to the day when our cars do not run on oil. You know me, I say take the bus, train, wind surf, walk, hang glide, anything other than the car.

But until we stop mainlining oil, plunging gas prices serve as a type of accidental economic stimulus the Bush administration and Congress can’t pass to save our lives.

Stop household drafts to cut energy bills

Hi, America! I’m grateful for this opportunity to take this humble church newsletter household-science advice column and give it a national audience.  Thanks to Wiseline Institute Northwest for picking me up.

Spouses of presidential and vice presidential candidates are often the source of much needed human interest when a presidential contest veers dangerously close to discussing issues. And for a good reason — it is those of us, we who toil behind the scenes running the households of the centers of power, who are not backed into a corner by the blinders of elective office, who can offer hope to the silent majority of Americans who care about what brand of glasses my wife wears, which shades of lipstick are right for pigs, extending executive privilege to cover governors’ spouses, and how long a run-on sentence should run.

In this column I will be discussing these important distractions, as well as cookie recipes, from my unique perspective as First Husband of Alaska.

Dear Todd,
The cost of energy is unreal! Not only can I not afford to fill up my car, winter is coming and my heating bills are going to go up. What can Alaska teach us about lowering energy costs around the house?
Signed, Freezing
Boise, Idaho

Dear Freezing,
One of the best ways is to winterize your house, and the first and easiest thing to do is eliminate drafts. Drafts are a major source of waste energy in many households, and that heat represents dollars!

Here’s how we get rid of drafts in Alaska:

  • Get a small plane equipped for snow landing, a Cessna 208 Caravan works in a pinch.
  • Remove the front passenger door.
  • Pack your favorite hunting rifle and take to the skies.
  • Have your pilot search out a pack of wolves, skim the tree tops, and let ‘er rip!  Tip: Wolves are smart but have no knowledge of modern aerial tactics, so always come at them from out of the sun.
  • Land, and skin your wolf.
  • Tan the wolf pelt. Then form it into a tube 3-4 inches in diameter, securing with needle and thread (or get a woman to sew it for you).
  • Fill the tube with goose down (more on that in a future column) or polyester fill.
  • Close and secure the ends, also with needle and thread.

Voila — you’ve just made your own draft stopper! Place them under your outside doors and you’ll start noticing an improvement in your heating bills.

It just goes to show you — if we had more Alaska-produced oil and natural gas, it would be cheaper to heat our homes.  We wouldn’t need to save energy and there would be more wolves in the wild. Want to protect wildlife? Then drill, baby, drill!

It’s called the Circle Of Life.

Bachmann seeks sustainable energy future – “Today’s animals are tomorrow’s petroleum,” Congresswoman says

Representative Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota) today announced she is launching a new initiative to put the U.S. on a path to a sustainable energy future. The conservative lawmaker, in a speech to the Better Living Through Dividends Institute, a Washington DC think tank, said “the obvious thing to do is to make the supply of oil self-sustaining.”

“We need to get started today on making sure the Earth’s supply of oil is sustainable. My plan proceeds from the scientific fact that oil from beneath the Alaska tundra and from under the ocean floor came from dinosaurs. Therefore we should start killing as much wildlife as we can now, caribou for instance, and bury them deep in the earth so that they may become petrochemicals for future generations,” said Bachmann.

“Put simply, today’s animals are tomorrow’s petroleum,” she said.

Because organic matter takes takes millions of years to become oil, Bachmann asserts that her plan actually takes a longer-term view toward solving the energy crisis than the energy challenge issued last week by Al Gore. The former Vice President said America can convert to a electricity supply based on solar, wind and other alternative sources in as few as ten years.

Bachmann dismissed Gore’s proposal. “Ten years? That’s not long enough. Just in case I’m wrong about this whole Second Coming of Jesus thing, Earth has billions of years left until the Sun goes nova. That should be our planning horizon, not Al Gore’s quick-fix, Band-Aid approach,” Bachmann said.

Bachmann went on to say she is drafting legislation that will put her plan into action. The first step will be to exempt from environmental protection laws all aspects of exploration, extraction, refining and transportation of oil. “The process of finding oil and getting it to our gas pumps should be able to wipe out as much wildlife as possible, helping ensure there will be new petroleum reserves far far in the future,” Bachmann added.

“My plan literally kills millions of birds with one stone,” she said.