Tag Archives: florida

Bush III Says, “Drill Baby Drill!”

In a move that will be remembered for its stunning level of cynical political calculation, the Obama administration has stated that it will restart oil exploration and drilling in the eastern Gulf, in the mid-Atlantic, and off of Alaska.  For those of you who may have forgotten, Bu$hCo did exactly the same thing on the cusp of the 2004 election except back then it was California and the Pacific Northwest that were going to be “re-opened” to oil exploration, ending almost 30 years of California having the final say over drilling off its coasts.

Now, setting aside issues of whether or not the US needs more oil, and focusing solely on the politics of this policy move, consider the states most affected by Bush III’s decision:  Alaska, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida.  All are states that Obama can probably afford to lose in the next election.  In fact, with the exception of Florida, there’s little chance he’d carry any of them.  So why not tell the citizens of these states to “go f*ck themselves”.  It’s not like you’ll lose any electors over it, right?

Way to go “Third”!  Yes we can…screw the Red States, further f*ck up the environment, retard America’s movement toward a more energy-efficient, more sustainable society, and scratch the Big Oil’s back…all at the same time!

Essay contest to decide Florida Democratic primary

The Democratic National Committee has decided an essay contest will settle the fate of Florida’s delegates to the Democratic National Convention.

The decision came Monday afternoon, shortly after the head of Florida’s Democratic Party said rank and file support was weak for any of the mail-in ballot, primary and caucus alternatives.

“If it’s all the same to you, Florida would like to pass, and let Michigan go ahead,” chairperson Karen Thurman told DNC head Howard Dean by phone.

“Florida Democrats are uncertain they can decide an election without the involvement of Katherine Harris,” she explained later to reporters. “This is all happening too fast, you know? Maybe we’ll be ready by 2012 or 2016.”

Shortly after speaking with Thurman, Dean emerged from a closed door meeting with advisers to announce Florida’s delegates would be allocated by a winner-take-all essay contest between Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. Hillary Clinton.

Each will write a 1,500 word essay on a topic they will get to choose from a list of a dozen or more.

“We believe this is the fairest for both candidates, as well as giving the Sunshine State the moment in the sun its Republican-controlled legislature was so keen on having,” Dean explained.

The essay questions are being written now by a special DNC panel. So far the categories include:

  • What “not campaigning in Florida” means to me.
  • States shaped like a gun.
  • Achievements of Gloria Estefan in the year 1996.
  • Famous ballot count disruptions.
  • Which is better, an early primary or a late primary.
  • Miami Vice trivia.
  • Mark Foley’s Key West
  • Jeb Bush: father of the year?
  • Ask not what a superdelegate can do for you, but what you will do for a superdelegate.
  • Tenth Amendment rights Florida shouldn’t have.

In other campaign related news, former Rep. Geraldine Ferraro delivered a masterful speech today on politics and race, in which she distanced herself from herself. “I certainly denounce my comments about Sen. Obama’s race and qualifications, but despite that I will continue to stand behind myself,” said Ferraro. She then attempted to tell an anecdote about a little girl who tried to help her mother save up money to donate to the Clinton campaign by claiming a preference for hummus-and-pesto sandwiches.