Tag Archives: iran

Mousavi disqualified over semi-nude photos

The streets of Tehran are clear of demonstrators this morning, as opponents of president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad absorb Wednesday’s shocking news: opposition presidential candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi has been disqualified after publication of semi-nude photos.

Iran’s ruling Guardian Council announced Mousavi’s disqualification mere hours after the photographs were published in the hard-line newspaper Iran. “Due to this troubling moral lapse, the Guardian Council has no choice but to rule Mir Hossein Mousavi ineligible and issues surrounding the legitimacy of last week’s election are moot,” read a statement issued by the office of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

A source in the Guardian Council said the provocative photographs were taken in the 1980s when Mousavi was prime minister, and modeled for a series of posters promoting import sales of TOW missiles. “The shirt was undone at the collar a morally borderline two buttons. In the offending series of photos, a third unfastened button can be seen clearly, revealing skin that is an abomination before God,” the source said.

Mousavi continues to be in seclusion and was unavailable for comment. However, Prof. Reza Frandle, a George Washington University historian familiar with Mousavi’s 1981-89 term as prime minister, speculated that Mousavi’s shirt may have been blown open by a breeze.

President Ahmadinejad took a break from measuring his office for new drapes to assure his country that the electoral crisis has passed.

“The people of Iran can put the election and its aftermath behind them and move forward. Move forward, now. Moving forward, confident that their president’s collar is fastened around his neck as tightly as a tourniqet,” Ahmadinejad said.

Star Trek film “an insult to Iran” – Praetor Ahmadinejad criticizes inaccuracies

Alert: Spoilers!

Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has called the new Paramount Pictures movie “Star Trek” historically inaccurate and an insult to Iran, and urged moviegoers to stay away from the J.J. Abrams-helmed sci-fi adventure.

It is the first U.S.-Iran motion picture crisis since Ahmadinejad’s negative review of “300” (Warner Bros., 2006). Continue reading Star Trek film “an insult to Iran” – Praetor Ahmadinejad criticizes inaccuracies

Clinton “will obliterate Canadian border” – Annexation to bring more primaries, delegates

Refusing to give up her quest for the Democratic Party presidential nomination and bolstered by her wide margin of victory in yesterday’s West Virginia primary, Hillary Rodham Clinton yesterday announced a plan to annex Canada into the United States.

The resulting United States of North America would consist of 50 states, 10 provinces, three northern territories, and — most important to Clinton’s struggling campaign — approximately 1,500 additional Democratic Party convention delegates.

“Everyone knows Barack Obama can’t win the big provinces,” Clinton surrogate Howard Wolfson said on a Canadian news program. “The hard-working Great White North will put Senator Clinton over the top.”

Wolfson detailed the North American strategy last night on Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s The National. “Clinton will obliterate the Canadian border, reuniting sister nations that went separate ways in 1776,” he told anchor Peter Mainsbridge. A schedule of Democratic primaries would quickly be organized and held during June and July, in a joint venture with Canada’s Liberal Party, added Wolfson.

“Make no mistake about it, all the votes must be counted, and the votes of all North Americans will be counted,” he said

Wolfson went on to say that the reunification would be negotiated by a special State Department team. Senator Clinton will seek to have the team led by Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer, said Wolfson.

“Ballmer will propose a corporate-like takeover of Canada — even if it means a hostile takeover. Extremely hostile, if you get my meaning,” Wolfson said.

Mainsbridge questioned how either kind of takeover could be considered feasible, since the U.S. dollar is weaker than Canada’s dollar, and Clinton would need President Bush to initiate the effort.

Wolfson replied that these were minor details, and quickly ended the interview.

“Damn Penn did it to us again,” he concluded, off-camera.

In related news, Democratic Party chairman Howard Dean warned Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island not to move their primaries ahead of U.S. Memorial Day.