George W. Bush has sued France, attorneys for the former President disclosed today.
Papers filed with the International Small Claims Court at The Hague state that France’s declaration of a “national disaster” in the wake of storms that severely lashed the country’s Atlantic coast infringes on a Bush trademark. The filing states France should not be allowed to use the term because it did not wait five days before sending government assistance, that assistance is being correctly and efficiently distributed, and private contractors are not involved.
“I’m the only one who gets to be called that, even in French,” Bush told his official biographer James Frey.
“As soon as I heard (French President) Sarkozy had declared a national disaster, I told my lawyers to jump on it,” said Bush, who is on a motivational speaking tour of Haiti.
“See, I’m what you call synombulous with that term — in other words, I am synombulous with it. Same as how there are a lot of different facial tissues, but everyone calls all of them Kleenex,” he said.
An emergency brief filed with the court by France’s attorney general offered to have Sarkozy fly in his plane over the affected region and look concernedly out the window.
However, a spokesman for Bush said it would be sufficient if the storm, currently named Xynthia, were renamed George.