Tag Archives: legacy

Bush motivational speech – Transcript

Fort Worth, Texas
October 26, 2009

Good evening. Tell you what, before we start, why don’t those of you in the back come and fill up some of these opens seats up front here? Come on, lots of empty seats.

Okay, now I can see all your shiny faces. Good evening again, and welcome to my first paid public speaking. Are you ready to rumble? Before I forget, I want to give a special shout-out to the 8,000 of you who won free tickets through 95.9 KFWR The Ranch. “Listeners really win on KFWR.”

I am honored to be invited here today to talk about lessons from my life that can motivate. In other words, life lessons that can motivate you, in your businesses, careers, and personal lives.

Although a lot of the early stuff is kind of hazy, what I do remember is working hard.

The first lesson from my life is that if you work hard, you always win. And let me tell you — I’m a winner. I’ve won every time.

I got into Yale even though I’m as dumb as a stump — because I worked hard. And because of me, Yale had to create a special grade: the E, which they told me stands for Excellent.

I got out of Vietnam but still worked hard serving my country — I earned that free dental work.

Some will tell you I lost my ’78 campaign for Congress, but I think of it as a ‘non-win’ — just sounds better.

I finished six years as Governor of Texas with 152 executions, number one among all governors in recent history. And most of those executions were of guilty people.

And then there was September the 11th, 2001. That was a loss for the United States, it’s true. But in large parts of the world 9/11 is considered a win against America. That’s lesson two from my life: consider other points of view.

Lesson three from my life would have to be good business sense. I started Arbusto Energy, which later got sold to Harken Energy — whew, and managed to sell all my stock in that before it went south.

As a baseball owner, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps by buying a share of the Rangers for $600,000, most of it borrowed, then selling the team and its taxpayer-financed stadium for a huge profit. I’m too bashful to say how much that was — but it rhymes with blourteen boint bline shmillion. Heh heh — pretty good, huh?

This lesson served me in good steed in the last year of my White House when the economy, due to fears of the possible election of Barack Obama, suffered the biggest failure of financial institutions known to man. The situation called for using the fourth lesson from my life — as ye have received, also shalt thou give away others’ money.

So I worked hard, considered other points of view, used my business sense, and then came to the only conclusion possible — I gave them 700 billion of your dollars.

This has been just a preview of all the lessons of my life. You’ll be able to get the rest of them in my forthcoming book, “Lessons Of My Life” By George W. Bush, $34.99, now available for pre-order from Regnery Publishing.

In closing, I hope my life has provided you with the motivation you need to achieve success in your endeavors.

Thank you for your attention, have a nice day, and remember to tip your waitress. Posters, CDs, and “Global War On Terror Global Tour” t-shirts are on sale in the lobby.

Those of you who want to take a picture with me, please form a single line in the center aisle — ten bucks each, cash only.

Bush legacy caught in massage parlor sting

(Washington) President Bush’s legacy suffered a setback last night, when undercover sheriff’s deputies arrested it in a massage parlor sting in suburban Washington.

The Prince Georges County Sheriff’s Office confirmed that the president’s legacy was among those netted in a vice investigation at the Brit & Charlie’s Spin Palace in Landover.

This morning the White House said the Bush legacy had only been looking for an innocent little massage. “Every president’s legacy needs a little massaging by the end of his term in office, he’s earned it,” said press secretary Dana Perino.

However, the official arrest report indicates the president’s legacy was expecting something more than a back adjustment. “Suspect tried to grope for excuses about pre-war intel, then asked the undercover officer to dress up lies in a fantasy roleplaying scenario,” describes the report.

The arresting officer wrote that the Bush legacy then offered her $500 to screw the historical record, at which point she identified herself as a police officer.

The legacy was booked into the Prince Georges Department of Corrections on investigation of soliciting for a presidential library, and was released on its own recognizance.