Representative Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota) today announced she is launching a new initiative to put the U.S. on a path to a sustainable energy future. The conservative lawmaker, in a speech to the Better Living Through Dividends Institute, a Washington DC think tank, said “the obvious thing to do is to make the supply of oil self-sustaining.”
“We need to get started today on making sure the Earth’s supply of oil is sustainable. My plan proceeds from the scientific fact that oil from beneath the Alaska tundra and from under the ocean floor came from dinosaurs. Therefore we should start killing as much wildlife as we can now, caribou for instance, and bury them deep in the earth so that they may become petrochemicals for future generations,” said Bachmann.
“Put simply, today’s animals are tomorrow’s petroleum,” she said.
Because organic matter takes takes millions of years to become oil, Bachmann asserts that her plan actually takes a longer-term view toward solving the energy crisis than the energy challenge issued last week by Al Gore. The former Vice President said America can convert to a electricity supply based on solar, wind and other alternative sources in as few as ten years.
Bachmann dismissed Gore’s proposal. “Ten years? That’s not long enough. Just in case I’m wrong about this whole Second Coming of Jesus thing, Earth has billions of years left until the Sun goes nova. That should be our planning horizon, not Al Gore’s quick-fix, Band-Aid approach,” Bachmann said.
Bachmann went on to say she is drafting legislation that will put her plan into action. The first step will be to exempt from environmental protection laws all aspects of exploration, extraction, refining and transportation of oil. “The process of finding oil and getting it to our gas pumps should be able to wipe out as much wildlife as possible, helping ensure there will be new petroleum reserves far far in the future,” Bachmann added.
“My plan literally kills millions of birds with one stone,” she said.