Tag Archives: oil

Oil company worried sea water could get into Gulf of Mexico

BP is warning of another potential disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, six days after an oil rig sank 50 miles off the coast of Louisiana. This time the danger comes from Atlantic Ocean water that could leak into the Gulf, contaminating one of the United States’ major oil reserves.

“The ocean contains a lot of material we don’t want polluting our pristine sea of oil,” said BP spokesman Ollie Sheen.

“Unfiltered seawater contains marine life and plants, as well as litter and toxic chemicals — all of which could damage expensive refinery equipment.”

Taking refineries off line to repair water damage could cause gas prices to rise this summer, Sheen added, “at least that’s what we would tell the public.”

But Sheen stressed there were environmental concerns as well. “Keeping water from getting into the oil is important for public relations reasons, especially since this is Earth Month,” he said.

Sheen said BP’s plan to prevent disaster involves working with the Coast Guard to set fire to a small amount of oil.

“The burning oil will evaporate the water,” Sheen explained.

Rear Admiral Roger MacAnally of the 8th Coast Guard district invited the public and media to a celebratory dinner that will be held after the end of the burn operation. Braised and roasted marine birds will be served.

Bush III Says, “Drill Baby Drill!”

In a move that will be remembered for its stunning level of cynical political calculation, the Obama administration has stated that it will restart oil exploration and drilling in the eastern Gulf, in the mid-Atlantic, and off of Alaska.  For those of you who may have forgotten, Bu$hCo did exactly the same thing on the cusp of the 2004 election except back then it was California and the Pacific Northwest that were going to be “re-opened” to oil exploration, ending almost 30 years of California having the final say over drilling off its coasts.

Now, setting aside issues of whether or not the US needs more oil, and focusing solely on the politics of this policy move, consider the states most affected by Bush III’s decision:  Alaska, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida.  All are states that Obama can probably afford to lose in the next election.  In fact, with the exception of Florida, there’s little chance he’d carry any of them.  So why not tell the citizens of these states to “go f*ck themselves”.  It’s not like you’ll lose any electors over it, right?

Way to go “Third”!  Yes we can…screw the Red States, further f*ck up the environment, retard America’s movement toward a more energy-efficient, more sustainable society, and scratch the Big Oil’s back…all at the same time!

Saudi King Wants to Goose Oil Prices

The King of Saudi Arabia doesn’t like seeing the price of oil dropping like crazy. “We believe the fair price for oil is $75 a barrel,” he said. OPEC will figure out how to stick it to us with much, much higher oil prices when that organization meets Dec. 17 in Algeria.

Funny, I don’t recall an outcry for $75 dollars a barrel oil when it cost $147 a barrel in July.

According to the AP, “On Friday, the U.S. benchmark West Texas Intermediate crude for January delivery was trading at about $54 per barrel.”

Of course, I look forward to the day when our cars do not run on oil. You know me, I say take the bus, train, wind surf, walk, hang glide, anything other than the car.

But until we stop mainlining oil, plunging gas prices serve as a type of accidental economic stimulus the Bush administration and Congress can’t pass to save our lives.

Seattle-area man’s sweet deal – Used Hummer incredibly cheap

A Seattle-area man defied prevailing pessimistic consumer attitudes last weekend, pulling off what he calls “the deal of a lifetime.”

On Sunday afternoon Bernard K. “Bucky” Frandle, 31, of Lynnwood, a suburb north of Seattle, showed off his acquisition, a used 2006 Hummer H2, to a spontaneous gathering of friends at Alderwood Mall, Lynnwood’s cultural mecca.

“This was the deal of a lifetime,” Frandle told best bud Ted Mullett, 32.

“Why someone would sell such a cherry ride for only $1,200 is a mystery to me,” said Frandle.

“Dude,” remarked Mullet.

Frandle credits President Bush’s economic stimulus package for making his 6,400 pound dream a reality. “My wife Chrissy and I finally got our $1,200 government check last Friday, and the very next day here’s an ad in the newspaper for an H2 for only $1,200,” he said.

“It was perfect timing,” Frandle said.

“Radical,” Mullet added.

Chrissy Frandle, 29, was unavailable for comment. However, a source close to Bucky Frandle who agreed to discuss the H2 on condition of anonymity said Chrissy disagrees with her husband’s purchase.

“Chrissy feels there are bigger priorities right now, necessities they need to budget for,” said the source, who went on to say Chrissy is particularly concerned about the 2009 digital television conversion.

“Bucky and Chrissy still don’t have a plasma TV,” said the source.

In national security news, the Bush administration is saying “all options are on the table” concerning the hunt in Lynnwood for prints of the motion picture Love Guru. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said this morning Lynnwood risks serious consequences by continuing to bar inspectors from searching for the prints. “We can’t wait for the proof that could come in the form of Mike Myers doing an accent,” Rice said.